his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
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