Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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