I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
