so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
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