You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Drunk is a universal language darling
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