I want to make a zoo with you.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
