i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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