You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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