Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
