I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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