i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
