Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I wannas sexs uuuuu
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
