Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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