I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
