Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
