there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
