I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize