He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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