morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
