shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize