when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize