i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
