Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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