I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Drunk is not a location!
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
