Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
You made out with two different species that night
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
