Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
