if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize