You kept calling me your small dog last night.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
