I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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