atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
