my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
