Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize