You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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