the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I have aggressive nipples.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
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