i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
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