She said her name was "party"
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
