He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
