Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Randomize
