I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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