I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
