Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
