just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
