bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
