I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
