Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Randomize