you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
