i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
