i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
