so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
