Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
