why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
