nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
