so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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