there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
