my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I enjoy the company of your penis
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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