half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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