no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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