He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
