Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Randomize
