Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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