Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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