If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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